In the shoes of others

I did feel misunderstood

- Perhaps just to look a little deeper? Into, not just myself, but to other people too. Sometimes we are just presented on the facade, you know, just on the surface, it's something that's used to introduce yourself in a way, and also maybe so you can get along with other people, so you can be part of a community. But to look a little deeper sometimes and what is first presented is not really the person. It's usually more than that... Maybe I've felt that I have been misunderstood, especially when I was younger. I was perhaps silly, flighty, but no, there was a serious side to myself as well, but often that was not seen. But then, maybe I did not present it, I have a responsibility also to present who I am. It's not just up to other people to discover that for me, so... sometimes you present a persona, because you're trying to get along with people and you're trying to protect yourself, you're trying to, like I said, be part of the group, but there's more there, you know, it's not so superficial... I suppose that a lot of the time I did feel misunderstood, I felt people reacted to me. Again, my responsibility to have, I presented myself and maybe if you would have asked another question there would have been more there. Is this what you're looking for?

- Yes, typically, to encourage people who might think « Oh I don't understand this person » to be like « Oh I remember this person on that project saying that maybe I should basically ask for more to understand more? ».

- Yes! Or to listen. Listen and see, sometimes when people tell you something, you know, there's a subtext. Listen to the subtext sometimes, and enquire a little bit more. And I do remember actually, when I was growing up as a child, I'm Scottish, and I do remember that when I was around English people, I definitely felt very inferior. And I never really examined that until I was much older, and I think it's different now for people growing up, but maybe that was part of my protection too, you know, I felt inferior in many ways but I wasn't.

- So maybe it was just your projection and there was no such thing?

- Yes!

- Well, you will never know I guess...

- No, I will never know...

- I'm wondering, how has it affected your life, to be misunderstood at times because people didn't ask for more?

- Oh, I think I've missed opportunities. I undersold myself a lot times, thinking of what I could do and what I could not do... but anyway.

- Do you have regrets?

- Yes, I do actually... I would live my life differently. But then people often say « Would you really live your life differently? »...

- You will never know! (laughing)

- I will never know! (laughing) There is a book by Matt Haig, "The Midnight Library", it's this woman, she is thinking she will commit suicide, but then she discovers this midnight library, where it's always midnight, and she is given the chance to go back in her life, and do things differently. Different choices. I haven't read the book yet, but I think it ends up that it wouldn't have been different. It would have never been different, this was her life. And for her to be happy and satisfied with that. And I don't think she kills herself in the end. It sounds like an interesting book...

#deeper #surface #introduceyourself #introducemyself #getalong #community #lookdeeper #misunderstood #misunderstand #persona #superficial #askanotherquestion #askquestions #listen #listening #listenandsee #subtext #opportunities #regrets #differently #livemylifedifferently #themidnightlibrary #matthaig #midnightlibrary

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This is a participation to a social project to promote empathy and fight discrimination.

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You can follow the project on the usual social media, Instagram being the most active one. There, you can read the stories while I'm gathering them and be informed if/when the book will be out. 😊

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