- Something that I haven't had to repeat many times, because it's something I don't say, is that I think a lot of the time I seem excited and happy and like I get on with everybody, but sometimes, I'm just quite lonely. I guess people see one thing and my experience is different.
- When you say lonely, what "lonely" means to you?
- Hum... that is a good question. (Some time passes) I think, what it means to me is feeling like I've got lots of friends, but nobody to go to with like a problem, I'm just by myself, I don't necessarily feel like I can reach out. I know lots of people, but that's not the same as feeling supported necessarily.
- Some people have what they call "best friends", you don't really feel like you have that?
- Yeah, and maybe specifically here, because I just moved here, so...
- Okay! Back to what you were saying earlier, people perceiving you as excited and happy and not seeing that... how does it make you feel when they don't see the lonely part of you?
- I guess I just feel a bit misunderstood, I think there are assumptions, because I'm in a pretty fortunate position, I'm a relatively middle class straight white guy in a world that's set up for me, but yeah, not always but I think there's an assumption sometimes that I'm getting on just fine. But I mean, everyone is also aware that many many straight white men aren't getting on fine, they just don't handle very well...
- A lot of them are in jail, or committed suicide, or ... (we are laughing)
If you could have a conversation with people and say « Ok, listen to me, I want to communicate how I feel truly and what I want you to see in me. », what would you say?
- I think it wouldn't matter what I'd say, once I got to that point, I would have solved the problem you know...